Ups and Downs…
Guess everybody has their own ups and downs in life.It’s just that they differ by how "up" is the "up" and How "down" is the "down" or even how long is each of the up or down.
These few days in my life was indeed the most depressed part in my life.I guess that’s what in my mind.To think of it.Just to review what’s in my mind lately…hmmm..full of hatred towards life, towards everyone and everything i guess…I hated myself for being the youngest!!Donno any youngest child of the family have the same opinion with me…Let me say a word or two to justify my feeling.
ok..u see…As my parents grow older, their children grow bigger!!!fei hua!!(fei hua=nonsense)and i have 3 elder brothers and of course they are older than me and has their own life already.As my two elder brothers have got married, they have their own home and don’t live with my parents.My third brother is furthering his studies in KL but seldom comes back because " busy"..SO>>>me as the not so busy one spend the most time with my parents…Who asked me to be so "lucky" to choose such a time to be at home…U know….??ppl grow older and have "longer stamina"…they have more and more free energy to fight and more time to pick on each other…trust me.. it’s not a good thing when they just ask u something for ur opinion.IT’S NOT A GOOD THING…i cant think of any concrete example now but trust me, their question may be a killing question as what u answer may be wrong for each side….like…:
Pa would say "this this this do this is good!!should do this way!!!"
(at this time, pa was already raising his voice and shouted in a reddish face..u know u should shut up now)
then ma would say " how can???do like that like that like that sure better!!"
then ma would ask " chia huan right or not?u agree with me right?…."
ok..so what should i do?
U think I should keep quiet to avoid dispute right??
hahaha…u’re WRONG…if i keep quiet…then..something like this would come..
" already an adult still donno how to give good opinion ar?"
" so big already…must know how to diffferentiate between right and wrong ma…..!!"
"…"
erm….ahha..suddenly i thought of something..by the way, I’m shifting house.shifting to somewhere near sutera utama. and don think that it’s good that i get to shift house. it’s a disaster for me..anyway, they just quarreled and one day i was asked by mum to send some stuffs over to the new house and my dad was over there in the new house. when i got there, i greeted ..
"pa, we’re here to shift the stuffs into the new house!"
suddenly, the sky became covered by dark clouds and thunder storm begun…
(in loud loud voice as loud as the thunder)
"WHO ASKED U TO JIA LI HAI SHIFT THE THINGS HERE?GO BRING ALL THE THINGS BACK BRING ALL THE THINGS BACK!!"(by the way, jia li hai means acting to be clever)erm..that’s not what all my dad scolded..there were more but not good to type it out here…it’s not so simple…
i was so shocked then…i bursted out in tears coz i felt so innocent and helpless being in between them. one asked me to shift the things and another aasked me to bring the things back. both are my parents..so wat should i do?? anyway, i did nothing… i cried and cried and cried and asked my 2nd bro to come over to solve things…lazy to elaborate…and maybe things has passed and it seems i don remember the details much now..hehe…
guess everything has passed and things are getting well now…i feel that i’m quite childish after these few days as for these few days i felt so lonely, sad and helpless everytime my brothers are not around.guess i really haven grow up and can’t handle all these situations. Once, i blamed my brother for not acompanying me all the time and scolded him..he just told me " huan, u should solve this thing like an adult.let pa and ma cool down first and thrust them.then things will slowly turn well.."…guess it’s time for me to learn to be an adult ba…i’ve been very emotional lately…or maybe because it’s my parents, and i was alone that’s y i was so easily emotionally affected…
now that everything has passed, i really have to learn from all this.to be more matured, to be able to control my emotions better, and to deal with problematic situations better…hehe…
Actually, before this, i was really so scared. i kept asking myself,what if something happen to my parents?what should i do?i guess i could no longer smile or laugh as heartily as ever…no more…
but now that everything has passed and allt he problems are gone.. there is no more hatred, no more problem and no more depress….I am the happy chia huan again…!!
