Invincible!!!!

Have been searching high and low for this 2 songs….Yeah!!!!FInally I’ve found it…But, i can’t find anywhere to download them…ONly managed to listen through youtube…anybody can help??or do u all have the songs??

Keliru

Di lubuk hatiku tersimpan
Ada rasa bimbang
Yang enggan ku ceritakan

Ternyata baru ku sadari
Sirnanya hatimu
Yang engkau simpan untuknya

*Aku cinta kepadamu
Aku rindu dipelukmu (di hatimu)
Namunku keliru telah membunuh
Cinta dia dan dirimu
Aku cinta kepadamu
Aku rindu dipelukmu
Inginku akhiri yang telah terjadi
Lamunanmu membawamu
Kembali…

Oh Tuhan maafkan diriku
Telah melangkah lugu
Memberi bimbang di hatinya

Ku tahu engkau telah berdua
Tak mungkin ku rasa
Melepas kasih antara kita

-back to *-

Engkau pun keliru
Menilai erti cinta kita
Yang kau kira selamanya…

-back to *-

What a Wonderful World
I see trees of green…….. red roses too
I see em bloom….. for me and for you
And I think to myself…. what a wonderful world.

I see skies of blue….. clouds of white
Bright blessed days….dark sacred nights
And I think to myself …..what a wonderful world.

The colors of a rainbow…..so pretty ..in the sky
Are also on the faces…..of people ..going by
I see friends shaking hands…..sayin.. how do you do
Theyre really sayin……i love you.

I hear babies cry…… I watch them grow
Theyll learn much more…..than Ill never know
And I think to myself …..what a wonderful world

(instrumental break)

The colors of a rainbow…..so pretty ..in the sky
Are there on the faces…..of people ..going by
I see friends shaking hands…..sayin.. how do you do
Theyre really sayin…*spoken*(I ….love….you).

I hear babies cry…… I watch them grow
*spoken*(you know their gonna learn
A whole lot more than Ill never know)
And I think to myself …..what a wonderful world
Yes I think to myself …….what a wonderful world.

Eversince i’ve got my matched University…I’ve got this package of emotions…(happy, lucky, contented, grateful) + (scared, apprehensive, sad, fearful) + (excited, hopeful) = Chia Huan

Happy, lucky, contented, grateful cos i got my first choice and it did make my parents feel happy and proud of me…(that’s the 80% of reasons why i put it as my first choice) and yeah…i’ve got it.!!

Scared and apprehensive cos I feel that i’ll be facing challenges and will be going through a hardtime making myself used to the life there.

Sad cos i’ll be leaving my family and friends to live in a whole new environment. Sad cos i’ll be leaving this place which i have lived for 22 years. Sad cos i’ll be leaving this place which is full of memories and which had brought me various joys and sorrows(which i think  it’s priceless).

Fearful cos i’ve never live alone in a place so far from home which i could not just take a 4 hour bus ride or drive back home or make a call and dad will be coming to fetch me…(sigh….chia huan sounds like a spoilt kid)??

I’ve never thought i’m such a "home/family girl"…I’ve always thought that i’m outgoing and playful and like new places and will be looking forward to new challenges(sorry for so many and)… I never expected the moment i got the offer, I feel like crying cos i’m going to leave a place which i’m familiar to…I never knew that i actually dislike changes…

But, there’s this 21.35% of me feeling excited…To be able to study abroad…To have the chance of learning new things and learn to live in a brand new environment…To have the opportunity to brave through challenges in life and hopefully become a better, better, better person…To be more independent and cry less…..hee…=)

I’m conquering Melbourne soon….(what a big word to use…)

Since u’re so kelian…alone in hometown…sing u a birthday song here..

Happy Birthday to u

Happy birthday to u

Happy birthday to jackie

Happy birthday to u

Other ppl…join me ya…sing to jackie…

haha..=p

It has been such a long time since i had this feeling…A feeling of contentment, a feeling of satisfaction…I went for a swim with my parents in RJCC…40 minutes of non-stop swimming..Not to prove anything.Just don feel like stopping down cos my ankle is not feeling "weird"..weird as in painful or stiff..It was one month ago that i had sprained my ankle and i had to restrain from all the sports activities since then..Honestly, I’m feeling far too happy with my "precious-ankle" progression…

A lot of things run thro my mind while i was swimming. How lucky i am to be able to move in between water molecules. Reminiscing the emotional turmoil that i went through one month ago, what I feel now is relief, happy and lucky to recover now.

I realized something. Ppl tend to think that their ownselves are the most pitiful people in the world when we face some problems. When i sprained my ankle, I really thought that i am the most unlucky person in this world. Everything that comes after that sort of augmented the impact. I grumbled a lot and i guess i made ppl around feel pissed too..hee…(maybe a little pissed, some of them). But i guess ppl around me know how to deal with sick patients, they don really feel pissed.=p Do u realise that when other ppl are facing problems and we are the one who console them, we will say that the condition that they’re facing not that bad compared to others..but when we’re the ones facing the problems, we won’t be thinking like that. We do not care how bad other ppl’s situations are but just put ourselves into the thought that we’re facing the doomest problem in the earth. We always forget to practice wat we preach. Things always become unclear when we’re the one in it. After the problem is solved or rather become milder, things are not that bad afterall. Maybe that’s what ppl say "tomorrow will be better"..Just be patient and wait for tomorrow to come. Of course, meanwhile u have to do all sorts of amendments to save the situation..Things will definitely become better..=)

Ankle recovered and lesson learned…

But, still…if we’re the one facing problems, it’s still difficult to not feel dejected or do what we know we should do…cos, we’re all human…=p

When i was using the internet, suddenly, i realised my muscles are twitching like mad…more specifically my deltoids(the muscle connecting my arm and shoulder)…i see fasciculations…so, i was like worried i might be having some neuronal disease.0.o..=p so i went on to find some informations about

A fasciculation (or "muscle twitch") is a small, local, involuntary muscle contraction (twitching) visible under the skin arising from the spontaneous discharge of a bundle of skeletal muscle fibers. Fasciculations have a variety of causes, the majority of which are benign, but can also be due to disease of the motor neurons

//

Conditions

• The origin of most cases is at present unknown and has therefore been given the title benign fasciculation syndrome^[1].
• Werdnig-Hoffman disease
• Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (rare)
• Organophosphate poisoning
• Benzodiazepine withdrawal
• Magnesium deficiency (which can be caused by stress)
• Dehydration
• Fatigue

Medications

Other risk factors may include the use of anticholinergic drugs over long periods, in particular ethanolamines such as Benadryl, used as an antihistamine and sleep aid, and Dramamine for nausea and motion sickness. Persons with Benign fasciculation syndrome (BFS) may experience paraesthesia shortly after taking such medication; hours later as it wears off (especially upon awaking), fasciculation episodes begin.

Stimulants can cause fasciculations directly. These include caffeine, pseudoephedrine (Sudafed®), and the asthma bronchodilators albuterol/salbutamol (e.g. Proventil®, Combivent®, Ventolin®). Medications used to treat attention deficit disorder often contain stimulants as well, and are common causes of benign fasciculations.

Treatment

Inadequate magnesium intake can cause fasciculations, especially after a magnesium loss due to severe diarrhea.
Over-exertion is another risk factor for magnesium loss. As much as 80%
of the population does not get the recommended daily amount of
magnesium; this may be a common cause. Treatment is with supplements or
increased intake of foods rich in magnesium, especially almonds &
other nuts, and bananas. Ironically, magnesium supplements may result
in diarrhea and more magnesium loss, so dosage and timing (i.e. with meals) are important.

Fasciculation also often occurs during a rest period after sustained
stress, such as that brought on by unconsciously tense muscles.
Reducing stress and anxiety is therefore another useful treatment.

moral of the story…CNS is interesting but it’s driving me crazy and suspicious too..=)

Waiting for the day when i can run and run and run again….

P/s : Changed my mind d…no scolding…thanks…

While everyone else is busy preparing for the MSK in-course assessment, I am here updating my blog. Yup!!!I woke up at 7am with my foot feeling painful again… wanted to study but although i kept staring at my notes, nothing seems to go into my head. it’s painful again!!!I think it’s because i overworked it yesterday. Being too triumph that after spraining it last wednesday, i could walk without crutches yesterday. It’s like learning to walk again. I felt so weird. It’s so hard to coordinate my movements. The feeling of unsafe, anxiety and first time fearing to cross the road after 22 years of life….I even tried to climb the escalators cos i just want to be normal like everyone else. Although it has always been regarded as a stupid idea to ban the students to use the lifts but i’ve always been a "supporter for escalators and stairs"…Was so so happy when i could walk up to 4th floor and another flight of staircase in the lecture hall to reach my seat…(just refuse to sit at lower level)…Yup… all the rush and too anxious to be normal, the pain become more intense again this morning and now i have to use back my new best friend–crutches again………………………………………………….

Depressed

Depressed

Depressed

MSK is this friday and I cant study. Ppl around say that i can study since i’ve sprained my leg and have no need to carry on with my sports events. Is that so? What kept appearing in my mind while i was reading my lecture notes was–Me, in basketball court dribbling the ball and trying to shoot..Me, in the swimming pool…Me, playing squash against a former state player…Me, running as fast as I could along the road and track!!!Supposed…supposed…supposed….If only there were If…If only i didnt sprain my leg…

Quote from my dad "do u think that u’re joining olympics?!!!?"Yeah… I’m not competing in Olympics…Maybe to an Olympian, IMU Cup is like "dust?". But to a IMU student who has never joined Olympics, I guess IMU cup is like Olympic to her though…Don’t ever judge with ur own thinking..Sports have always been the best way for me to relieve my stress from studies, from problems. Sports have never fail to make me happy, make me vibrant, make me feel refresh all over again to continue study…………………..Arghhhhhhhhhh…..

Back to IMU cup…I’d only get to play 2 sports which were futsal and volleyball so far before I injured myself…And i missed 6 other sports which i like…I didnt really like futsal and volleyball tho..I played futsal because of Lydia cos she got no goalkeeper…I’ve even hated volleyball before for some reasons..But in the end, i got injured because of it..How ironic!!!!Maybe it’s punishment cos I complained too much about volleyball…..I missed basketball(which i like most), swimming(which i like), squash(which I like)…and I’m going to miss road relay(which i like) and Track & field(which i like) soon…As for cheerleading, still an unknown….Praying hard that my "poor-thing" will heal for that….Please please please….2 months of training…………Please…………………………………………………………….

I know…I know…I came to IMU to study medicine…not to play sports…..But, I just feel not worth it to get injured at this time….Why this time?Why now????

I sound like a DISABLED person MOURNING about her injury….

Maybe I am a DISABLED person and I am MOURNING about my injury…

I have to accept it and be happy and positive……I know all that..But, it’s so hard when it’s happening to u…Yup..I’m luckier than a lot of others…But, just bear with me and let me throw my tantrum for a few moments…………………………………………….

=(

=(

Being around with friends help relieve my pain and make me happy…But, sometimes it’s just so sad to admit that i actually feel guilty when ppl have to slow down and wait for me as i can’t keep up the pace……………………

=(

Jealous of my foot cos ppl kept asking "Chia Huan…How’s ur leg?"

How come nobody ask me "Chia Huan…How’s ur other body parts?Ur heart?Ur mind?"…I feel so pessimistic and devastated recently…Going crazy soon…getting injured in the middle of my last IMU cup which i could gain lots and lots of endorphines to keep me happy…..It’s my hobby………to be active…. and now….I need to walk slowly…there was once when i can run from home to lecture hall in 1-2 minutes but now i need at least 20 minutes to "glide" from B2 to LT3 not mentioning standing in front of the road and deciding whether to hop across the road or walk or use the crutches or get tripped and knock by a car…..!!!?and other ppl just walk past me…and another one…another one….another one…

Maybe i shouldnt indulge myself in all these negative feelings anymore.Cos it’s not going to help me in anyway…..not going to help me walk any faster, not going to make me feel any happier..

Yup!!!Spraining ankle is a common injury….I would rather sprain my ankle another 10 times…just not now…..

Why did i sprain my ankle NOW????????

I feel so slack…The thing that i should be worry about now is my MSK exam… But, I’m complaining about not able to participate in sports more than not being able to pass MSK….

I need somebody to scold me…

I need somebody for me to scold…

I need somebody to complain to…

I need somebody to make my ankle heal faster…

I NEED TO STUDY…………..

Who is the best somebody??

Answer is ME, MYSELF AND I……

Remembering vividly that few weeks back, I was still yearning for a rest from all the activities and duties… And now, I finally can have it or forced to have it….I don’t think I am happy…

Places once so easily reached seems so far now.

Tasks once so easily accomplished seems so difficult now.

Sports once so greatly interest me seems frustrating to me now.

Friends….Bear with me with my endless "thank you-s" and "sorry-s" cos that’s all i can say now and that’s all i want to say to u guys.

Depressed chiahuan says : "Stupid me to have sprained my ankle and now i have to withdraw from all my imu cup events until i have full recovery. The most depressing thing was getting scolded by my dad.I don’t like the feeling of helplessness. I don’t like the feeling of tiredness after hopping around like tigger. I don’t like the feeling of having to rely on other ppl to do a lot of things although i know i couldnt survive without them. I hate the feeling of throbbing pain on my ankle which made me insomnic"

Happy chiahuan says : " I felt lucky to have friends around me to help me. Ppl who bring me to school. Ppl who held me around in uni, Ppl who carried me to the lift.Ppl who held me up and down the staircase. Ppl who cared and give me concern…thousands and thousands of thank you…"

I think the happy chiahuan had won the battle until now…At least i didn’t break my leg.. hee…=)

The silly wound on my left ring finger is bugging me…I never knew i had such a "big-open-wound" which is trying very hard to heal in close apposition…but, i can see that the edge is getting closer and closer..=)..altho i felt excruciating-pain when i peeled orange today because of extreme acidity..stupid orange…=(..ok i was a bit exaggerating about the pain.

Wound takes time to heal…Just hope that it will heal faster…and heal properly…not leaving any awful scar…not leaving any painful memories…especially when u "created" the wound urself…(The silly wound…metaphorically)

MSK has started…IMU cup is starting next monday…resume of cheerleading practice…heaps of training started (blame myself for all that)…untouched lecture notes…feeling of loss and stress is creeping towards me again…Arghhhh…maybe it’s the post-sick syndrome cos i had a terrible fever just before coming back to kl..thought my head was going to blast off on sunday night and whole body burning…and seems like cough is coming back too…(DO i really have TB?)

Jay Chou’s movie was like refreshment for me..was so reluctant to come back to uni after that…But, the short talk with Auntie-librarian was nice and the "extra-notes" in my lecture notes was a  pleasant surprise…day a bit brighten now…

The effects of an outburst of anger can be damaging…, to ppl who made u angry, to ppl who are around u and most  destructive to ur own self…

No matter u’re right or wrong, no matter others are right or wrong…

It’s always not a right choice to create an outburst no matter how angry u are……

Things are left undiscussed…unable to convince myself…

Just solely regretting of my reaction…

Full of regrets…………

For being angry………..